Starting over
by aurghhh
Summary: Emily and Paige have broken up and lost touch, and now they are living on opposite sides of the country, with Emily going to Danby while Paige is at Stanford. Both are trying to move on with their lives, but neither can leave behind the memories of what they have lost.
1. Chapter 1

_Emily begins a new relationship, but still struggles with her past. Meanwhile, Paige is settling in to life at Stanford, but is surprised by a call from Hanna._

**A/N:** Since I've been a bit slack recently and haven't written anything, I thought I'd publish here a story I wrote a while ago. It's a six-parter and I'm just going to post the whole thing. It's kind of relevant now - it's about Emily and Paige having broken up and Paige has moved to Standford. It forks from cannon after the end of season 4, so the Paily reconciliation in 5A hasn't happened in this story, and the Emison relationship takes a different path. It's set about a year after Paige has left for college. It also has a few new characters, given the setting.

This is one of my favourites that I've written, so I hope you like it.

* * *

><p>It happened quickly. Emily needed a lab partner, and paired up with Lakhsmi, who she knew from her Genetics class. Emily couldn't claim this was entirely due to luck. The two of them always sat up the front of class, and asked most of the questions, and Emily was already sick of working with freeloaders, despite still only being in her first year. She needed someone she could be confident in, and Lakhsmi was the obvious candidate.<p>

But if Emily was being completely honest with herself, there was another reason. Lakhsmi was striking looking, statuesque and full-figured. She had short, black, spiky hair, with deep brown eyes, smooth dark brown skin and a luminous smile. Emily almost felt guilty that Lakhsmi had made such an impression on her before they had even spoken, but when Emily did finally introduce herself she quickly forgot this. Lakhsmi was instantly amiable, with no sense of distance between them. They just clicked.

As Emily got to know Lakhsmi better, she began to feel a sense of possibility.

* * *

><p>Stanford was everything Paige had hoped it would be. It was hard work, of course, but Paige loved that. She threw herself into both her study and her swimming.<p>

She was lonely, but she had expected that, and she did make friends. In a way, it was refreshing to be somewhere no one knew her. As much as the events in Rosewood had dominated her life for so long, to the rest of the world she was a minor player, rarely mentioned in the news reports.

But then, by the time the media were interested in the events, Paige was just the ex-girlfriend of one of the victims, long since removed from the action. It felt wrong to be thankful for this, but Paige knew she was.

* * *

><p><em>Paige could see the conflict in Emily's eyes. Emily was struggling with what she was saying. Afterwards Paige could never decide if it made it better or worse that Emily still loved her when she ended their relationship, but the pain Paige saw on Emily's face that day never left her.<em>

_"Paige, I am sorry about what you went through, I really am," she said. "But Alison's life is at stake here, and you used me to get back at her. I promised Alison I would protect her and now I've betrayed her."_

_"That wasn't what I was trying to do," insisted Paige._

_"So what were you trying to do?" Emily demanded. "Scare her away? Let her know she isn't safe in Rosewood? Because that's what you've done."_

_"I just wanted to get you away from all of this," Paige explained._

_"And if that means A can find Alison then so be it," Emily suggested._

_"No!" Paige exclaimed, shocked at what she was being accused of._

_"Well that's what you said the other night," Emily reminded her._

_"I didn't mean that," Paige responded, but she had little else to say. Emily was looking at her, and seeing someone else, someone Paige almost became, and now was in Emily's eyes._

_"I had no idea you were still so scarred," Emily said, her voice almost a whisper now, but all the sadder for it. "Paige, if I could help you I would, but I can't put anyone else in danger because of you. You have to do this on your own."_

_"Emily, please," Paige begged, but she knew it was too late._

_"It's over, Paige," Emily said. "I'm sorry."_

_"I know," Paige answered, and it was done._

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Emily."<p>

The voice came from behind Emily, but she recognized it instantly.

"Hey," Emily replied as Lakhsmi appeared beside her.

"Are you heading towards one of our campus's many fine dining establishments?" Lakhsmi asked.

"Yes," Emily replied. "I was just going to get some sushi."

"Would you like some company then?" Lakhsmi asked.

"That would be lovely," Emily replied.

It had been a busy morning, and Emily was happy to have some company. Together they pushed through the throngs of students to the sushi bar, which Emily had discovered early on as having the least unpleasant food available on campus. Unfortunately the price for this was a long queue, and in that queue they now took their place.

"So, has my studious friend been busy?" Lakhsmi asked.

"Today's my worst day," Emily replied. "Four solid hours of classes."

"You look tired," Lakhsmi observed.

"That's my own fault," Emily explained. "I was on the phone with my old friends back in Rosewood all night last night, then I remembered I had a test today."

"Oh dear," Lakhsmi responded. "That would explain those dark circles under your eyes."

"I know," said Emily. "I must look terrible."

"You could never look terrible, Emily," Lakhsmi assured her. "Did you make it through the test? And more importantly are your friends all well? They must be missing you."

"I did fine in the test," Emily replied. "And my friends are good. It's hard though, the four of us were so close. I wish I could be back there with them."

They reached the front of the queue, and ordered their meals. After some searching, they found a table, and sat down to eat.

"Emily, I want to ask you a question," Lakhsmi informed her, "but I will understand if you don't want to answer it."

Emily hesitated a little. She had butterflies in her stomach now. Possibilities went through her head, but she tried not to anticipate.

"OK," she responded.

"I have heard of Rosewood," Lakhsmi began. "It was on the news late last year."

Emily's butterflies intensified. All she wanted was to meet someone who had never heard of Rosewood.

"You were one of those girls, weren't you?" Lakhsmi asked. "One of the ones who were being stalked."

"Yes," Emily replied, brusquely.

"I'm sorry," Lakhsmi said. "You're probably sick of being asked about it."

"Yes," Emily confirmed.

Lakhsmi looked at her, and Emily could tell she wanted to apologize again. She had encountered this so many times. Some people, the worst ones, got excited about it, and just wanted to hear all the details. Others looked at her with pity, like Lakhsmi was doing now.

They silently ate their lunches.

When they had finished, Lakhsmi gathered up her things.

"Well," she said. "I will see you in class tomorrow."

"Yes," Emily responded.

"I am sorry," Lakhsmi said.

"I know," Emily replied. "I… I still have trouble talking about it. But I'm not angry or anything."

"Thank you, Emily," Lakhsmi said.

"See you tomorrow," Emily responded.

* * *

><p>Caitlin's face appeared on the monitor<p>

"Hey Paige, how's it going?" Caitlin asked.

"Good, good," Paige replied.

"Broken any world records yet?" was Caitlin's next question.

"No, but it's only Thursday," Paige responded, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

"Now what's this Chels tells me about you coming back to Rosewood on your next break?" Caitlin asked.

"It's true," Paige confirmed. "My parents bought me a ticket, and I will be in town for a week."

"OK, so a week sounds like plenty of time," Caitlin observed. "You have to promise…"

"I promise to see you all," Paige assured her. "We're hardly ever in the one place so I wouldn't dream of missing it."

"We miss you, you know?" Caitlin said. "And when you're famous we're going to be there claiming to be your friends, so we need some more recent photos with you to sell to the media."

"If I ever get famous I'll hire you all as my entourage," Paige said.

"OK, can you say that again?" Caitlin asked. "I'm just going to do a screen recording."

* * *

><p><em>"Emily I want to talk," Paige insisted.<em>

_Emily was nervous, but she knew she had to show resolve here. Anything else would just drag it all out. She had to keep her distance from Paige._

_"What about?" she asked._

_"About what I did," Paige responded. "I need you to understand."_

_Emily didn't doubt Paige, but there was little to understand. Alison hurt Paige, so Paige had tried to hurt Alison. _

_"It won't change anything, Paige," Emily declared. "I meant it when I said I forgave you, but after what you did I need to stay away from you until Alison is safe."_

_"Alison is using you," Paige protested. "Can't you see that?"_

_"OK, if that's what you came here to say then go," Emily demanded, starting to lose her temper now._

_"She hasn't changed," Paige retorted. "You've just been sucked in again."_

_Emily couldn't believe she was hearing this. Paige was trying to blame Alison again._

_"She came to me because she needed me," Emily insisted. "It wasn't enough that you almost got her killed, now you're trying to smear her as well."_

_"No, Em," Paige said. "You're the one who almost got her killed. If you had let the police look for her instead of trying to find her yourself then A would never have found her."_

_Emily felt like she'd been kicked in the guts. Later, she couldn't even remember what she had said next, she only remembered yelling._

* * *

><p>When Emily saw Lakhsmi the next day, it was less awkward than she had expected. Lakhsmi was her usual bubbly self, which made things a lot easier.<p>

As they left, Lakhsmi turned to Emily.

"I was wondering if you were free tonight," she said. "And if you are, would you like to come over? I promise to respect any off limits topics of conversation, but I would like to get to know you better."

"That would be lovely," Emily responded.

She felt nervous. She felt excited. She had to remind herself this wasn't a date.

* * *

><p>Paige was in the dining hall when her phone rang. When she looked at it she saw Hanna's name. Her mind raced, but she couldn't think of a reason why Hanna would be calling her. She took the call with some trepidation.<p>

"Hi Hanna," she answered, tentatively.

"Hey Paige," came Hanna's voice over the phone, sounding up beat and cheery. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Paige replied. "I'm a little surprised to be hearing from you."

"I bumped into Chelsea today," Hanna explained. "She said you would be visiting Rosewood in your break and I was wondering if you wanted to meet up."

"Why?" Paige asked.

"Just to catch up," Hanna replied. "Do we need a reason?"

"I know you guys hate me," Paige responded.

"We don't, Paige," Hanna insisted. "That's why I was hoping we could catch up. I know things were a bit tense when you were still in town. We might have said things… shouted a bit…"

"…thrown me out of the Brew onto the footpath," Paige added.

"Yeah, OK, but that was Spencer's idea," Hanna explained. "You were right, though. We were all sucked in by Ali's stories. Even me, which is really annoying."

"So you don't think I tried to get Alison killed?" Paige asked.

"No," Hanna replied. "We were all stupid, and we want to say sorry."

"When you say all…" Paige began.

"Emily won't be in town," Hanna responded. "We weren't sure if you two were up to seeing each other, and we figured you'd probably want to do that in private anyway. Or at least Aria figured that, and it did kind of make sense."

"I don't know, Hanna," Paige said. "I mean, thank you, but I've really tried to forget everything that happened. I don't know if I'm ready."

"Paige, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to hear Spencer Hastings admit she was wrong," Hanna pointed out. "Trust me, you do not want to miss this."

"OK," said Paige. "When do you want to meet?"

* * *

><p><em>Spencer was glaring at Paige, Aria and Hanna just sneaking furtive looks. Paige turned around and began to walk away, but soon she heard brisk footsteps coming towards her.<em>

_In a moment Spencer was standing in front of her, blocking her way._

_"Spencer, it's over," Paige said. "Once school's finished you won't ever have to see me again."_

_"Paige, I'm only going to say this once, and if you repeat this to anyone I will deny it," Spencer began. "I think you're right about Alison, but everything you've done has made it worse. You need to stay away from Emily, and stay out of this. Getting Alison killed won't fix things."_

_It took some time for Paige to process this, and Spencer was just about to walk away before she could react._

_"I wasn't trying to put Alison in danger," Paige protested. "I was trying to stop Emily and the rest of you doing the job the police should be doing."_

_"We know you say that," Spencer replied. "But that's not how it looks to us."_

* * *

><p>After dinner they sat down in Lakhsmi's dorm room.<p>

"Here is what I was thinking," she began. "I will tell you something about myself, you can tell me something about yourself. No questions. That way you have complete control over what you want to share."

"Sounds good," Emily replied. "You start."

"I am a vegetarian and I don't drink alcohol," Lakhsmi said. "I grew up in a Hindu family, and… I'm not really sure if I am these days, but I've kept up some of the practices. I enjoy it, though."

"That's great," Emily said. "Do you get much pressure from people?"

"A little," Lakshmi replied. "More for not drinking than for being vegetarian. For some reason the former is far more of a problem at college than the latter. But I've learned that anyone who has a problem with me not drinking is someone I don't want in my life anyway."

"Absolutely," Emily agree. "Friends should accept you for who you are. I was so lucky with that."

Lakhsmi looked at her, obviously curious, and Emily realized what she had just said.

"Given that I set the rules, and they included no questions, I won't ask," Lakhsmi said. "I agree though. Friends should accept you for who you are."

For a moment Emily considered just telling her. She trusted Lakhsmi, but it seemed to much of an announcement.

"I…" Emily hesitated, trying to think of something else to say. "I'm a swimmer. I'm hoping to join the swimming program next year. Unfortunately I couldn't join this year as I'm still recovering from a shoulder injury."

"You must be good," Lakhsmi said.

"I'm OK," Emily replied.

"Do I detect a hint of modesty there?" Lakhsmi asked.

"I was out of training for so long, and I'm only getting back into things," Emily explained.

"Were you the best on your team?" Lakhsmi asked, before quickly correcting herself. "I'm so sorry, that's a question, isn't it?"

"It is," Emily said. "But I'll forgive you."

Lakhsmi chuckled a little, and Emily found herself gazing at her face.

"I guess it's my turn then," Lakhsmi said. "I played guitar at school. I also tried violin and oboe, but I was best at guitar. I still have one at home, but I don't play it so often these days."

"That's great," Emily said. "I'm not very musical, so I always admire people who can play an instrument."

"You only say that because you haven't heard me play," Lakhsmi claimed. "I remember one of my aunties once asked my if I played guitar to meet boys, which I thought was very strange at the time. Even more so now. I just wanted to be better than the boys."

Emily's interest was piqued. _Even more so now_.

"OK…" Emily said, thinking of something else. "My dad is in the army."

"Do you see him much?" Lakhsmi asked. "Oh, I've done it again, haven't I?"

"You have," Emily agreed. "But that's OK. He was in Afghanistan for a while, and it was just mom and me, but he's home now. When he's away and I really miss him, but I still get to see him a lot."

"It sounds like you love your parents," Lakhsmi observed.

"I do," Emily agreed. "We had… a rough patch for a while, but they came around. Your turn."

Lakhsmi thought for a moment.

"When I was little, I wanted a pet elephant," she said. "My parents tried to explain to me why we couldn't have one, but I never believed them. They would take me to the zoo, though, and I would always want to see the elephants. I collected elephant toys, and filled my room with them. I was terrible. If someone got me a present that wasn't an elephant I would just put it away and never play with it."

Emily looked around the room. She saw tiny elephant figurines on shelves, an elephant cross-stitch hanging on the wall, a book about elephants among her textbooks.

"You don't grow out of these things," Lakhsmi explained.

Emily felt comfortable with Lakhsmi, in a way she hadn't with anyone else since she came to Danby. She knew what she wanted to do.

"Would you like me to tell you about Rosewood?" Emily asked.

"You don't have to," Lakhsmi replied. "If it is stressful…"

"I want to," Emily responded. "If you want to hear about it, I want to tell you."

Lakhsmi nodded. Emily thought she looked a little apprehensive. Emily herself felt apprehensive too, but she needed someone else to share this with, someone who knew who Emily was, and where she had come from. And at this moment, Emily wanted Lakhsmi to be that person.


	2. Chapter 2

_Emily opens up to Lakhsmi, while Paige considers her visit to Rosewood._

**A/N:** Reminder that this forks from cannon after the end of season 4. The Paily break up over Paige going to the police was more long term in this story.

* * *

><p>"I need to ask you something first," Emily said. "How much do you know about me, specifically?"<p>

"Specifically, not a lot," Lakhsmi replied. "All I know is that you were one of the group. There were four of you and your friend went missing, and everyone thought she was dead. Someone stalked you while she was in hiding, then they tried to kill her. There were a number of murders, but the people behind it have been arrested now."

"That's it, in a nutshell, I suppose," Emily said.

"It must have been terrible," Lakhsmi said. "How did you cope?"

"To be honest, I don't know," Emily replied. "I suppose when your life is like that, eventually you adapt, you just get used to it. You think, that's just the way things are."

"They said one of the people after you was your teacher," Lakhsmi said.

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "He was dating Aria for a while."

"Wait, your teacher was _dating one of his students_?" Lakhsmi asked, obviously shocked.

"Like I said, you just get used to some things," Emily responded. "None of us understood at the time why it was so wrong."

"How is she now?" Lakhsmi asked.

"She's OK," Emily replied. "She's had a lot to work through, but she's pretty tough."

"So what was it like for you?" Lakhsmi asked.

"It's hard to understand if you weren't there," Emily began. "The girl who went missing was… I don't know how to explain it. She was the one that brought us all together. She chose us, so that we were her hand-picked clique. I was so naive, I just felt special, like it was a privilege I should be thankful for. When we all thought she was dead, we finally faced up to who she was, how she had treated us… treated everyone."

"I'm getting the impression she wasn't a nice person," Lakhsmi noted.

"No," Emily confirmed. "She wasn't, but I couldn't see that. She was nice sometimes…"

"Everyone is nice _sometimes_," Lakhsmi pointed out.

"Yeah, I get that now," Emily agreed. "At the time, I was just so excited when she said anything… anything that made me think… she actually cared."

Emily quickly scanned Lakhsmi's face for a reaction, but Lakhsmi was showing only concern. Emily decided now was the time.

"I was in love with her," Emily stated. "She knew that. She used it to control me."

"That's awful," Lakhsmi said. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. Was she the first girl you loved?"

"She was," Emily replied. "And as much as I'd like to forget her, I can't because she will always have that place in my life. She made me realize who I was, but she took so much from me for that."

"I understand," Lakhsmi said. "For me it was nowhere near as dramatic, though. She was just straight, that was all. She laughed when I told her. She wasn't trying to be mean, she just thought it was funny."

Emily and Lakhsmi looked at each other for a moment. Emily felt relief flowing through her.

"Did you know?" Emily asked.

"Know what?" Lakhsmi responded.

"That I'm gay," Emily clarified.

"I may have been getting little pings on my gaydar," Lakhsmi answered.

"Me too," Emily said.

Lakhsmi just smiled, that smile that felt as warm as a hug.

* * *

><p>Paige was trying to study, but having trouble concentrating. She kept going over the conversation she had had with Hanna. Over and over. She had created a picture in her mind, that she was no longer welcome with Emily's friends, that they had banded together against her no matter what had happened, and now that picture had been torn up.<p>

But still, what did this really mean?

Paige had made a new start, and put a lot of effort into leaving her old life behind. Sure, sometimes when she wandered around the hallways at Stanford she imagined Emily there with her. When she was training it occasionally felt as if Emily was swimming in the next lane, pushing her on. But Paige had made it this far by herself.

After all this work, Paige wondered if she was ready to even consider that the door which she had thought had closed behind her might still be able to be opened.

Paige looked at her notes, and realized she had no idea what they said. Why was she even studying on a Friday night?

She needed to talk to someone.

* * *

><p><em>Paige knew she had blown it. She had tried to make her case to Emily, but let her anger get the better of her, and now Emily hated her, really hated her. Paige had confirmed all of Emily's worst fears, and now all Emily could see was a hurt, twisted girl out for revenge. Spencer, Paige's only potential ally in convincing Emily, now no longer trusted Paige either. <em>

_All Paige could do was remove herself from Emily and her friends. If she saw them at school, she went somewhere else. If anyone mentioned them, she changed the subject. She no longer went to the Brew, or anywhere else she might see Emily. All of her friends knew the name that they were not to mention._

_This arrangement stung, but Paige believed she could handle it. The situation was contained._

_But of course, there was always a way to aggravate a wound in Rosewood. One day she found an envelope in her locker. Inside was a note from Emily to Alison. Paige shoved it back in the envelope and into her bag without reading it, but her willpower was short loved. Later that afternoon she read it. Emily no longer just wanted to keep Alison safe, she wanted Alison back. Back in Rosewood, back with her._

_Paige felt dizzy, and soon nauseous. She ran to the bathroom, burst into an empty cubicle and vomited. Only as she recovered her composure afterwards did she notice there was someone standing by the basins._

_"Paige?"_

_It was Hanna. Of course. Why wouldn't one of Emily's friends be there?_

_"Are you OK?" Hanna asked. "I can take you to the doctor if you need."_

_"No," Paige responded, barely able to speak. "Thank you."_

_"Did you eat something bad?" Hanna asked. "That casserole at the cafeteria was really…"_

_Hanna stopped speaking as Paige handed her the note. _

_"A left this in my locker," Paige explained. "Tell Emily. If A is intercepting her messages…"_

_Paige couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. As Hanna looked at the note, Paige turned and walked out._

_It took her some time to notice how concerned Hanna had been for her._

* * *

><p>"So what was it like when she went missing?" Lakhsmi asked.<p>

"Terrible," Emily replied. "I felt guilty, but in a way I felt liberated, which just made me feel more guilty. I was lonely for a while, but then the four of us came back together and started to… to work out who we were without her. And then it started."

Emily paused for a moment. There was so much to tell, and she barely knew where to start. All she could do was begin.

* * *

><p>Paige was sitting in her favorite local coffee shop, across the table from Aisha, her teammate in the swim team and one of the first friends Paige made when she arrived at Stanford.<p>

"So, what's up?" Aisha asked.

"I got a call yesterday from Hanna, one of Emily's friends," Paige explained. "She wants me to meet up with them when I'm in Rosewood."

"I thought they hated you," Aisha said.

"I thought they did too," Paige responded. "But she says they don't. They want to apologize."

"Do you believe her?" Aisha asked.

"Yeah, I mean Hanna could never lie about something like that anyway," Paige replied.

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Aisha said. "Give you a chance to mend some fences."

"I suppose so," Paige said.

"But…" Aisha prompted.

"I don't know what this means for Emily," Paige explained. "She won't be there, but they wouldn't be reaching out if she still hated me. If I go, should I contact her? Will she want to talk to me? Can she trust me again? Does she…"

"OK, OK," Aisha interrupted. "You're jumping a few steps ahead here. Why don't you just go along and talk to them? Maybe you can ask them if you should talk to her."

"But what if I'm wasting my time," Paige countered. "I've tried so hard to get over her, and now I'm right back there, worrying about what she thinks of me."

"You've tried hard, yeah," Aisha responded. "But Paige, and I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, _you've failed_. You still care about her whether you like it or not, and you'll go crazy if you don't at least see what this is about."

"I suppose so," Paige agreed.

"Heck, I'll probably go crazy if you don't go," Aisha added. "You won't be talking about anything else from now until graduation."

Paige smiled.

"You're right," Paige said.

"It's more than that though," Aisha said. "You and I will both have this little picture in our minds of you and her, sitting in rooms on opposite sides of the country, both wondering whether to get in touch. _That_ will drive us crazy."

"OK, I'll go," Paige declared. "I'll talk to Hanna and the others, and if there's a chance I'll call Emily again."

"This girl must really be something," Aisha said.

"She is," Paige confirmed.

"If this doesn't work out though, you have to promise me you'll start dating again," Aisha insisted.

"I tried," Paige said.

"You didn't try hard enough," Aisha countered. "You're at college. I see girls checking you out all the time and you don't even notice. You see if you've still got a chance with Emily, but if you don't then you have to move on."

Paige nodded. She knew Aisha was right.

* * *

><p>It was only when Emily tried to tell the whole story of what had happened to her that she realized how difficult a story it was to tell. It made no sense. She could barely believe it and she had lived through it. Lakhsmi spent most of her time with her face in various poses of disbelief.<p>

But Emily didn't really tell the whole story. Some things were still too personal, and too painful. She mentioned Paige, but not how or why they broke up, and not what happened afterwards.

* * *

><p><em>When she looked back on what she did, Emily saw a different person. Not herself, but someone in a story, a cautionary tale. She wanted to tell this Emily to stop, not to let herself be drawn in again, but it was too late.<em>

_She should have known better too. She had experienced it before, but it was like she could only see the spell Alison cast on her with the benefit of hindsight. At the time she just felt special, and loved._

_For a long time after she broke up with Paige, she would wake up every morning and remember again that Paige was gone. She told herself how she had done what she had to do, but the loss of Paige still remained with her as a dull ache which she felt whenever she couldn't find something to distract herself._

_Emily therefore focused all of her efforts on saving Alison. She had something she could do, something she knew was right. She was no longer wary of Alison, and while her romantic feelings had gone away, she felt them returning as Alison rewarded her efforts with visits, messages, and secrets the others were not allowed to know. Emily was Alison's most trusted friend, and Alison was now Emily's reason for keeping going._

_Then one time they met. Emily had some documents Alison needed, and after the usual complex process to organize a rendezvous, Emily and Alison were face-to-face again._

_"I've brought you everything you need," Emily whispered, handing Alison the envelope she had asked for. Emily studied Alison's face, eager for a look of approval. _

_Alison looked at the package Emily had given her, then looked up, and smiled, that smile Alison only seemed to give Emily, where her whole face showed her pleasure, and with just a hint of mischief._

_"I hope you know how important you are to me, Emily," Alison said. "You are the only one I can really count on these days."_

_Emily felt her heart racing._

_"I just want to help you so you can come home," Emily replied._

_"I know," Alison said. "And I want to come home too. I'm still scared, but soon… I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you all this time, but I want to make up for that. Make up for leaving you."_

_Alison was crying now._

_"I understand," Emily said. "You had to go."_

_"I hope you do understand, Emily," Alison said. "Because I owe you so much."_

_And with that, Alison leaned forward and gently kissed Emily._

* * *

><p>It had been a long night. Emily was feeling a little emotional, but it wasn't until she stood up to leave that she started to cry.<p>

"I'm sorry," she said, sitting down again.

Lakhsmi came over and sad beside her, tentatively putting her arm around Emily's shoulders.

"Will you be alright after this?" Lakhsmi asked. "I hope I haven't put you under too much stress."

"It's just…" Emily began. "This might be the first time I've told someone all of this, someone outside of Rosewood, that is."

"I'm worried I've asked too much of you now," Lakhsmi said.

"I'll be OK," Emily assured her. "I just need a little time. You can see why I don't tell people often."

"I can indeed," Lakhsmi agreed.

"Sometimes when people know, it's all they want to know about me," Emily continued. "I'm just that girl who was on the news that time. It gets on my nerves, so most people, I just don't want them to know about any of this. The only people I want to know this are the ones I really trust."

Emily looked up at Lakhsmi.

"Like you," she added.

"Thank you," Lakhsmi replied. "I am overwhelmed. I hope I can repay your trust in me some day."

"You already have," Emily told her. "By listening, and caring."

* * *

><p>Emily saw Lakhsmi again the next week in class. Most of their conversation was either small talk or molecular biology, but afterwards Lakhsmi insisted on taking Emily for a coffee.<p>

"I just wanted to check that you weren't too stressed after our talk the other night," Lakhsmi explained.

"No, I wasn't," Emily replied. "And I'm glad I did it. Somehow I feel better."

"It was a quite intense experience," Lakhsmi noted.

"It was," Emily agreed.

"I had something else I wanted to ask you," Lakhsmi said. "I am hoping this isn't moving too quickly, but since I lack any sort of subtlety or finesse, I am going to ask you directly. I enjoy your company immensely, Emily, and I would like to see you again of an evening very soon, except this time I was thinking it could be more of, well, a date. My apologies if this is not…"

Lakhsmi stopped talking. She must have seen the way Emily's face had lit up.

"Yes, thank you," Emily said. "That would be wonderful."

* * *

><p>Paige was playing with her phone when she saw it. She had kept Emily's number. It had been so long since she had called her, but she could never bring herself to delete that number. Doing so would mean giving up. On the other hand, it had been a long time since she had had any real hope that she would have a chance to use that number. In the early days after the break up she would toy with herself, her thumb hovering over the dial button. Now, she barely gave it a thought.<p>

Hanna had changed that. She had opened up a new possibility, one Paige hadn't dared to hope for.

But there was still a puzzle. Why were they asking to talk to Paige when Emily wasn't there? Did Emily even know about this? And why now?

Aisha was right. Paige had tried to get over Emily but failed.

As Paige admitted this to herself, another thought came into her head, one which also had been long banished.

What was Emily doing now? Right at this very minute?

It frustrated Paige that it was still a few weeks until break, when she would get to go back to Rosewood and maybe start to find some answers to her questions. Somehow, though, the prospect of getting answers energized her. Even if Emily had no interest in being with her ever again, at least Paige would know. And if Paige could know that Emily no longer hated her, then that would be better than what Paige had been living with all this time.

Paige put the phone down. Temptation comes at the strangest times, and she didn't want to mess things up now. Not again.

Paige froze.

It was such a simple thought, and it had come so easily to her. She messed things up. When Paige thought of everything that had happened, she thought about how she had messed things up. It felt so easy to see herself that way. Not as the girl who had been in an impossible situation, and had tried to save the person she cared about the most. Not as the girl who had taken action when everyone else had gone with the flow. Not as the girl who had risked everything but made it through.

She still saw herself as the girl who messed up.

No.

Not anymore.

She wanted to see Emily again, not because she needed Emily's approval, or for some sort of redemption, but because she loved Emily, and because she believed that Emily might still love her. Because they could be together again. Because they could be happy.


	3. Chapter 3

_Emily's relationship with Lakhsmi falters. Paige's return to Rosewood brings both happiness and grief._

**A/N:** Fairly emotional chapter.

* * *

><p>Emily and Lakhsmi were curled up together on the couch in Lakhsmi's room.<p>

They were two weeks into their new relationship, and Emily was the happiest she had been in a long time. She would smile every time she thought of Lakhsmi, and felt alive when they were together. She would call her friends back in Rosewood and tell them how wonderful it all was, tell them she was falling in love.

They went on dates, they spent afternoons chatting away at a coffee shop, they spent evening studying together, or just eating takeaway in front of the television. Lakhsmi had told Emily the name of every elephant in her room, and introduced her to Tanjore painting, her favorite art. In return, Emily had offered to show Lakhsmi the great classic horror movies, but this was met with little enthusiasm.

Often they just talked. Emily loved Lakhsmi's stories of her family, though she had trouble keeping track of all the relatives. Lakhsmi seemed a little sad for Emily being an only child, and took some convincing that Emily was fine with it.

"So are you going home for the break?" Lakhsmi asked.

"No, there's not much for me in Rosewood," Emily replied.

"Your family maybe," Lakhsmi proposed.

"Dad's away, mom's busy with things," Emily explained.

"Surely she would still like to see her only child," Lakhsmi countered. "What about your friends?"

"We keep in touch," Emily responded bluntly.

"You really want to stay away from that town, don't you?" Lakhsmi suggested.

"Maybe," Emily replied. "What are you doing?"

"Sad news I'm afraid," Lakhsmi began. "My parents have gone back to India for some sort of family business, I thinks it's a wedding of a business partner's daughter, and I can't go because I need to catch up on my zoology assignments. So it seems you are stuck with me."

Emily looked up at Lakhsmi and smiled.

"I've had worse news," she said.

They kissed. Lakhsmi was a firm but tender kisser, and could kiss for hours.

Emily was happy. She just wanted it to stay this way, but she was starting to get a little apprehensive.

This was Emily's third relationship since arriving to college, or maybe third attempt at a relationship. The previous two had both started to go wrong at this stage, once the initial buzz died down, and Emily had already caught herself wondering if Lakhsmi really cared about her. Perhaps they had gone in too quickly.

Emily told herself it would be fine this time. She shouldn't worry about these things. She should just enjoy this moment, enjoy the kiss.

* * *

><p>Paige was surprised to see so many people at the airport to greet her. Her parents she had expected, but Chelsea, Brian and Caitlin were there as well.<p>

It was sweet, but she was tired. There were hugs all round, but she wasn't very conversational.

Still, she finally felt ready to face Rosewood again.

* * *

><p>At the end of her lap, Emily looked up.<p>

Sure enough, there was Lakhsmi, watching her avidly and now breaking into applause when she noticed Emily looking at her.

Emily pulled herself out of the pool, grabbed her towel and walked over, drying herself as she did.

"Most swimmers don't get a cheering audience when they're just swimming laps," Emily noted.

"Well, there you go," Lakhsmi replied. "You will have an advantage."

Emily quickly kissed Lakhsmi.

"Please don't be offended if I say you smell much sweeter when you haven't just been immersing yourself in chlorine," Lakhsmi observed.

"I'm sorry, I don't even notice it anymore," Emily said, suddenly nervous.

"It's OK, Emily, I'm only joking," Lakhsmi assured her. "I would put up with the smell of a thousand chlorine baths to kiss you."

Emily knew Lakhsmi wasn't really complaining, but she had spent so long dating another swimmer she had forgotten that not everyone is used to the smell of a swimming pool.

"I better go have my shower," Emily said.

* * *

><p>Paige's first couple of days back in town were filled with visits to family and friends. Her parents were so happy to see her again she felt bad when she had to do something else.<p>

And of course her friends wanted as much of her time as they could. She spent Tuesday night at Caitlin's apartment, seeing her new artworks and listening to her philosophical interpretations of them. To Paige they looked like ducks. Very good ducks, but ducks none the less. Apparently it was all symbolic though.

The four of them drank and talked late into the night. It was Brian that finally raised the subject.

"So when are you seeing Hanna and the others?" he asked.

"Tomorrow night," Paige answered.

"Was it OK that I told Hanna?" Chelsea asked nervously. "I wasn't sure."

"It's fine," Paige replied. "Who knows, it might be great."

"What do you think it means?" Caitlin asked.

"All I know at this stage is they say they don't hate me, that I was right about Alison, and they want to say sorry," Paige responded.

"It took them that long to work it out?" Brian said, somewhat incredulously.

"Yeah, well, Ali was pretty good at conning people if you didn't see through her bullshit," Paige replied, her tongue loosened by the alcohol.

"But still, why did they ever even like her?" Brian asked.

"Brian…" Caitlin gently chided him.

Paige just shrugged her shoulders.

"Because she was charming and charismatic," Paige replied. "When she turned it on she could probably get people to jump off a cliff if she wanted to."

"The others aren't like that, though," Brian countered, still obviously unable to understand their bond to her.

"You guys put up with my shit for years," Paige pointed out.

"That's hardly the same," Caitlin responded. "You were just angry. She was cruel."

"Yeah, she was cruel, but she was also needy in her own way," Paige explained. "Even someone like Emily can fall for that."

"Speaking of Emily…" Brian began.

"We weren't," Caitlin interrupted.

"It's OK guys," Paige assured them. "She's not such a sensitive topic now. And the answer is, I don't know, but I might find out tomorrow night."

"Are you still hoping?" Chelsea asked quietly.

"Yes," Paige replied. "I am. I know I should have given up long ago, but I've come this far, so I'm going to see. But I promised Aisha that if it's not going to happen this time then I'm moving on, and I'm scared of Aisha so I have to do it."

* * *

><p>It was happening again. It seemed so predictable Emily could write it in her calendar.<p>

Emily and Lakhsmi were at the coffee shop, and Emily knew she should just be enjoying her girlfriend's company. She wasn't though, and all it had taken was a simple lull in the conversation. Emily was worrying that Lakhsmi would get bored, but the more she tried to think of something interesting to talk about, the more her mind went blank.

She started to fret. She felt tense and awkward, and she was sure Lakhsmi was picking up on this. She looked across at Lakhsmi, who just smiled back, oblivious to the drama going on in Emily's head.

Emily felt so stupid.

* * *

><p>Paige had planned a quiet afternoon, and was still recovering a little from the night before, when her father got a call from the nursing home where her grandmother was staying. Paige became worried as soon as she saw the look on his face.<p>

Once he had hung up he just said she was sick.

"She might be OK," he said. Paige knew what that meant.

They got into the car and headed out to see her. On the way, Paige texted Hanna saying she might be late and why. Hanna texted back with her best wishes.

Most of the trip, however, Paige's mind was blank. They had always known this was a possibility given her grandmother's age and the state of her health, but it still seemed so sudden.

When they arrived her grandmother was asleep. She looked more unconscious than asleep to Paige, but it didn't really matter. She was lying on her back, her eyes closed and breathing noisily through her mouth. She looked more gaunt than she had, even when Paige last saw her just over two months ago.

She was still in her room, in her own bed, and one of the carers was telling the family that they had no plans to move her, as there was little that could be done. Her bowels were only sometimes working, she was having problems with her kidneys, and now she had a lung infection. There was also the risk of another stroke. Her body was shutting down.

The main thing was that she wasn't in pain.

Paige sat next to the bed for a while. She carefully held her grandmother's hand, like a fragile and delicate piece of glasswork. Her parents and the carer left the room to discuss the details of her care, leaving only Paige and her grandmother in the room.

Paige sat for a while longer, letting old memories come back to her. She found herself smiling.

"Thanks, Granma," Paige whispered. "Thanks for standing up for me with dad. Thanks for letting me walk Scruffy, and for all the chocolate cake. Thanks for being there for me, thanks for everything.

* * *

><p>It felt so different to how Paige had expected it.<p>

She was still emotional after visiting her grandmother, and they did not arrive back in Rosewood until after 9pm. Her parents dropped her off at Spencer's house.

Paige could see the sincerity in their faces as soon as she walked through the door. Spencer stepped forward and hugged her, then Hanna, then Aria.

"How's your Granma?" Hanna asked.

"She's holding on," Paige replied. "But it's only a matter of days. She probably won't wake up before then."

"We can do this another time if you like," Aria suggested.

"Yeah, if you just want to go home that's fine," Spencer added.

"No, please," Paige responded. "I've been looking forward to this. You know, to seeing you guys again."

"Would you like a drink?" Spencer asked.

"Just water thanks," Paige replied.

"Do you need any food?" Hanna asked. "Spencer has these chewy penut butter bars. They're healthy but they actually taste good."

"No thanks," Paige replied.

Soon they were all sitting in the Hastings living room. It had been such a long time for Paige.

"Paige, we just wanted to say we're sorry," Aria began.

"Thank you," Paige responded. "But I haven't been holding any grudges. You guys did what you thought was right, based on what you knew at the time. Just like I did."

"Except that you were right and we were wrong," Spencer pointed out.

"See, Paige," Hanna said enthusiastically. "I told you it would be worth it."

"Hanna!" said Aria and Spencer in unison. Hanna just looked a little sheepish.

"Guys, I know Alison could fool anyone," Paige said.

"You saw through it," Spencer replied.

"She wasn't trying to fool me," Paige countered. "She had no need to. It worked fine for her if I didn't trust her and you did. That's the trap I fell into."

"In any case, we should have listened to you," Spencer said.

"And I should have been more level headed," Paige responded. "I wanted to protect Emily, but I didn't think it through well enough. We were all in impossible situation. But thank you, again."

"You really could have made more of that," Hanna suggested. "Spencer said she was wrong."

"I said we were wrong," Spencer corrected her.

"Guys," Aria interjected.

"Um, there's just a couple of things I wanted to ask," Paige said. "I suppose the first is, why now?"

"We should have done this a long time ago," Aria answered. "But we weren't sure if we would be just dragging you back when you'd moved on."

"And we wanted to pick a time when Emily was available…" Hanna added.

"Hanna!" Spencer interrupted, but to no avail.

"…I mean, like, _available_ available," Hanna continued. "But then a few days after I called you she goes and gets a girlfriend."

Aria and Spencer glared at her.

"What?" protested Hanna. "Why beat around the bush?"

"I was actually going to ask about Em," Paige said. "But Hanna's kind of answered one question."

"See!" Hanna exclaimed.

"We're very sorry about Hanna," Spencer said. "Paige, Emily feels the same way we do about all this. She just wasn't sure if you'd want to talk to her after what happened."

"I would," Paige confirmed.

"Do you still have her number?" Aria asked. 'I can give it to you if you like."

"She's still got Emily's number," Hanna said.

Paige just nodded. Hanna knew her too well.

* * *

><p>Emily's phone rang again, but she didn't answer. She just wanted silence now.<p>

She couldn't work out how this had happened in just a few days. They hadn't argued, and Emily couldn't point to anything that had gone wrong, yet she was now almost hiding from Lakhsmi.

Why?

She still cared about Lakhsmi, and felt awful knowing what she was doing to this poor girl. If Emily was confused Lakhsmi must be even more so. But somehow the relationship just felt wrong. This seemed such an absurd thought, when she had been happy just a week ago, but Emily couldn't get it out of her head. The relationship felt wrong.

Emily questioned what she wanted. Everything had been going fine, but somehow felt flat, lacking intensity. Did this mean she didn't care?

She no longer knew if she was doing the right thing.

* * *

><p>Paige decided to go for a walk. She wanted to get out of the house, and just wander the streets of Rosewood again. She never thought she would be nostalgic for this place, but the last few days had changed her perspective completely.<p>

It was good to see her family, her friends, and Emily's friends. While she hadn't lied about not holding grudges, she did feel a weight off her shoulders now that things had been mended with Hanna, Spencer and Aria.

Her relief was mixed with sadness though. She knew that sometime, likely in the next few days, she would be losing her grandmother. She had been back two more times. It gave Paige some satisfaction that she had been able to talk to her again, but there was nothing more she could do. She was due to fly back the next day, but she had enquired about changing the date on her ticket, as she couldn't leave town now.

And then there was Emily. Paige was genuinely excited about being able to talk to her again, but frustrated to have come so close yet missed out. Aisha was right, it was time to move on. Paige just hoped Emily's new girlfriend was making her happy. Emily deserved that.

As she was approaching the centre of town a car tooted it's horn as it drove past. Paige was startled, and didn't recognize the car, which was now pulling over on the side of the road.

In a moment the driver got out and waved to her.

It was Caleb.

Paige ran forward and gave him a hug.

"I heard you were back in town," Caleb said. "This is fantastic."

"Wow, it's so good to see you again," Paige replied.

"Hanna said you had a good talk the other night," Caleb said.

"We did," Paige confirmed. "It's been such a hectic week. I'm drained."

"Well in that case, I have one question for you. Halo or Call of Duty?" Caleb asked.

"Excuse me? Guitar Hero!" Paige replied.

"It's a deal," Caleb said. "Get in."

* * *

><p>Emily's phone rang. She plucked up the courage to answer it.<p>

'Hey," Emily answered.

"Emily…" Lakhsmi stopped for a moment. "I've been trying to call you. Are you all right?"

"I don't know," Emily replied, too exhausted to be anything but honest.

"Can I come around and see you?" Lakhsmi asked.

"I'm sorry," Emily responded. "I just need to be alone."

"Alright then, but we have to talk soon," Lakhsmi pleaded. "I'm getting worried."

"OK," Emily said.

* * *

><p>They ended up playing Halo and Call of Duty as well. Paige would have loved to play every game Caleb had, the old ones and the new ones, but all they had was one afternoon. It was only when Paige saw that it was starting to get dark that they stopped.<p>

"Thank you," Paige said. "You have no idea how much I've missed this, and missed you for that matter."

"Hey, the feeling's mutual," Caleb responded. "I just figured that after the week you've probably been having you'd like a chance to unwind."

"Well, you figured correctly," Paige told him.

Just then Paige heard her phone ring.

"Wait a minute…" she said, as she dug it out of her jacket pocket.

It was her father. She knew what this meant.

"Hey dad, is it Granma?" Paige asked.

"Yes," her father replied.

"OK, I'll be there soon," Paige said.

"Caleb, could I get a lift back to my parents?" Paige asked.

"Sure," Caleb replied, putting his arm around her shoulders as she began to cry.

* * *

><p>It hurt Emily to see the sad look on Lakhsmi's face.<p>

"Emily, I don't understand what is wrong," Lakhsmi said. "You seemed to be happy. I thought we had made a connection."

"We had," Emily responded. "It's… I don't know how to explain. I just don't know what I want."

"I'm beginning to feel that whatever you _do_ want, you _don't_ want me," Lakhsmi declared bluntly.

"No, no, it's not like that," Emily protested, but she couldn't say what it _was_ like.

"Emily, you are allowed to feel the way you feel," Lakhsmi assured her. "If you are no longer interested, then that's that."

"I am," Emily replied, somewhat feebly.

"Emily, if I had more self-assurance, and maybe nerves of steel, I would keep trying," Lakhsmi said. "Unfortunately I don't. You can say you don't mean it this way, and I have no reason to doubt you, but every time you do this it feels like a rejection, and it is very tiring. I am tired."

"I'm sorry," Emily said. "I didn't meant to hurt you."

"I know," Lakhsmi said. "But I need to know whether our relationship can go on, and since you cannot give me a clear yes, then the answer must be no."

"I'm sorry," Emily repeated. She didn't know what else to say.

"It is what it is," Lakhsmi said. "I won't pretend that I am not disappointed, as you are a lovely girl… the kind I could…"

Lakhsmi's voice trailed off. She was crying, and Emily felt terrible.

"We both know this isn't working," Lakhsmi added.

Emily was crying too now. All she could do was nod.

Emily reached out and they fell into each other's arms, but this time only to provide a shoulder to cry on. Even as they did, Emily still couldn't work out why she couldn't just love this woman.

They hugged until the sobbing stopped.

"I feel awful," Emily whispered. "I still don't understand."

"Maybe you need to stop trying," Lakhsmi suggested. "I… I've been told before not to do this, but with you in particular I want to. Maybe now our relationship is over, we can use our time to concentrate on our friendship. I believe that could still work."

"I would like that, too," Emily agreed.

"Then as your friend, can I say that I am worried you still haven't dealt with all of the terrible experiences you have been through," Lakhsmi said. "Perhaps that is why your emotions still confuse you."

As Emily listened to Lakhsmi's words, a nagging thought came forward from the back of her mind.

"I haven't told you everything," Emily said.

Lakhsmi looked at her with concern.

"If there is more you wish to tell, then I am here to listen," Lakhsmi said. "But I think now is not the time."

"Yes, you're right," Emily said. "There is more to tell though, and if it's OK I think I need to tell you."


	4. Chapter 4

_Emily tells Lakhsmi about Paige and Alison._

**A/N:** I'm hoping there aren't any Emison shippers still reading this. If so, sorry. I should mention again that this was all written before 5A, so it's interesting comparing Emison's fate here to how it turned out on the show.

* * *

><p>Lakhsmi was sitting next the Emily, looking expectant but, Emily had to admit to herself, a little anxious. Emily felt bad putting her through all this, first jerking her around with their relationship and now making her listen to Emily's tales of woe when she was probably still trying to sort out her own feelings. But of course she wasn't making Lakhsmi listen, Lakhsmi had volunteered, in fact virtually insisted when Emily called her, so Emily was going to go through with it.<p>

Part of Emily just wanted to forget. Forget everything that had happened to her, forget all the girls she had loved, forget the people she had lost, and move on. Even now, she was tempted to imagine she could just erase it all through sheer force of will, as simply as deleting a sad song from her phone. It was such an alluring prospect. She could just say "No, forget it all", then lean over and kiss the girl she was with now, and she knew Lakhsmi would kiss her back. At this moment Lakhsmi cared more for Emily than Emily cared for Lakhsmi, and Emily hated herself for it.

It had sounded so easy. Move on, find a new girl, one who was caring, sweet, fascinating and beautiful. Emily had found that girl though, and it still wasn't enough. She couldn't move on. She didn't want to. So maybe Lakhsmi wasn't the girl who would be Emily's new beginning, but maybe she could be the one who helped her heal her past. Emily just hoped she cold repay her one day.

Emily took a deep breath and began.

"When Alison came back we dated for a while," she explained.

"I thought she had been terrible to you all," Lakhsmi responded with astonishment. "How could you trust her?"

"Alison was very good at getting you to trust her," Emily replied. "I thought I'd come such a long way, moved out of her shadow and become myself, but that ended when she came back. I found out I really hadn't come as far as I had thought."

* * *

><p><em>It all seemed like Emily had woken up from a nightmare into a beautiful spring morning. Alison was back, but not the callous girl Emily had forced herself to see, but a new Alison, one who could love in a way Emily had almost given up hoping she was capable of.<em>

_"Open it," Alison said. _

_Emily looked back up at Alison, who had that playful look on her face she always had when she had a surprise for Emily._

_Emily opened the envelope. Inside was a brochure for a hotel in New York._

_"I've made a booking for next weekend," Alison explained. "Just the two of us. it's old, but classy, and there is this fantastic jazz bar around the corner."_

_"It looks beautiful," Emily said._

_"Well, I did get to know the town a bit while I was staying there," Alison said. "I just thought it was time I showed you a real city."_

_"Thank you," Emily responded, stepping forward to hug Alison._

_"We haven't had much time together," Alison said. "There's been so much going on, or we've been hanging out with the others. This way we can get out of Rosewood for a while, just you and me, Em. You deserve it."_

_They kissed. Sometimes, just for a moment, it was like Alison had never gone away._

* * *

><p>"But what was it this girl had?" Lakhsmi asked. "You said she had used your love for her to control you before she disappeared."<p>

"She did," Emily confirmed. "Back then I thought she loved me too, but I wasn't ready to face my feelings, so I just… I don't know, I guess I just didn't push it because I was scared. I think I thought maybe she was scared as well, but it didn't matter. I wasn't ready, so I just held on to the dream that one day she would love me."

"Ah…" Lakhsmi said.

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "When she was in hiding I started to look back on it. I saw how she had manipulated me, and it hurt so much. I hated knowing that those moments which had seemed special were just her playing with me. Then I saw her journal…"

"Her journal?" Lakhsmi asked.

"Ali kept a journal with stories about everyone," Emily explained. "She used it to keep all our secrets. I was in there, of course. She… the stories about me weren't as cruel as I had expected. She still amused herself at how blindly I loved her, but I think I was more her pet than her victim. A lot of people got it worse than I did."

"But they obviously weren't love stories, though," Lakhsmi observed.

"No, they weren't," Emily agreed. "I realized that my feelings for her weren't her feelings for me, and I told myself I was OK. Now I can see that I wasn't. It hurt that someone I had loved so much didn't love me back, and when she returned I really believed that she'd changed. Suddenly all that pain went away. I had another chance."

"So had she changed?" Lakhsmi asked.

"She had, but not… she was still Alison," Emily replied.

* * *

><p><em>Emily didn't often get bored at parties, but this time she did. At first she didn't understand why Alison had been so keen to go, but when she arrived she found it was full of college students, and Alison immediately set about networking. <em>

_To Emily this felt more like work than socializing, but she found someone she knew, a girl she had met at a swim meet a couple of years ago, back when Emily was still competitive. The two of them found a quiet corner and caught up, swapping stories of training schedules and early mornings._

_Soon Alison found her though._

_"Hey Em, you've got to join us," she said, dragging Emily into the crowd. "I've found a bunch of guys from Danby." _

_As the two of them approached the group, Alison leaned in to whisper into Emily's ear, "This is your chance to make some contacts. Smile a lot and be friendly, OK?"_

_Emily wasn't interested though. She stood at Alison's side the whole time, nodding vaguely when spoken to._

* * *

><p>"For a while it seemed good," Emily said. "Alison needed me, and I had helped save her, and now we were together. I told myself it was meant to turn out this way, and now she could finally love me like I had loved her. The others… I could see they were wary, but they went along with it as well. The problems started with the little compromises. I knew Alison and I were different, but I thought I could bring out the good in her. I thought that's what she wanted. It sounds stupid doesn't it?"<p>

"No, not at all," Lakhsmi assured her.

"The irony was, she wanted to bring out a different side of me too," Emily continued. "A tougher side. Stronger, or at least what she saw as stronger. If I didn't do what she wanted she'd be… I don't know, disappointed, maybe? I kept getting things wrong, but when she said something nice I would be so happy. I needed her approval. I started thinking I was the problem."

"Oh dear," Lakhsmi said.

"Yeah," Emily said. "Oh dear is right."

* * *

><p><em>"Em, I'm not listening to any more of this," Alison insisted. "He was annoying, we both wanted him to go away, and he went away."<em>

_"I just didn't think you needed to be that rude," Emily protested. "He was just saying hello."_

_"We didn't talk to him at school, so why should we talk to him now?" Alison asked._

_"Because it's polite," Emily responded._

_"Em, you're still so busy being nice to people, you let them walk all over you," Alison said. "You've come a long way, but you're still…"_

_"Still what?" Emily demanded._

_"Still soft," Alison answered._

_"I'd call it considerate," Emily countered._

_"And that's sweet," Alison said. "But that's not how other people see you."_

_Emily could feel herself getting angry, but she knew to keep it in check. She didn't want to make a scene. _

_"This is just how I am," Emily finally said._

_"I know, and it's beautiful," Alison responded. "But you can't just waste all that kindness on anyone and everyone."_

_Emily wanted to speak out. She had been raised this way, and she could never be as blunt as Alison, but somehow even saying that felt ungrateful._

_"It's OK, Em," Alison continued. "If you can't tell people to go away, I will. But you're going to have to learn to stand up for yourself one day, or people will just use you as a doormat."_

* * *

><p>"When I talk about it now it seems so obvious," Emily said.<p>

"It always does," Lakhsmi reassured her. "Everyone has done this at some stage, and we all look back and shake our heads at how we didn't see it at the time."

"I just… I honestly thought she was helping me," Emily added.

"We always do," Lakhsmi replied. "People like that chip away at us, but we think they are making us better. Being constantly treated as if you are broken and need fixing is draining."

"I know," Emily said. "I can see that now. Like I said, I thought I had broken free of her, but I hadn't. Maybe I'm still not quite free of her."

"Maybe that is why you are telling me this," Lakhsmi suggested. "Maybe this is your chance to find the path away from her."

"Thank you," Emily said. "I could never have expected you to do this for me, and I can't promise anything in return."

"I expect no promises," Lakhsmi assured her. "I wish to help you, that is all."

"Thank you," Emily repeated. "I'm just not sure I deserve this."

"Well, you do," Lakhsmi countered, "so proceed with your story."

"OK then," Emily said, seeing how sure Lakhsmi was. She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, I can't remember what I was going to say."

"Then tell me how the relationship ended," Lakhsmi suggested.

"That's the worst part," Emily said. "She left me. I didn't even have the courage to end it, I just tried to keep going until one day she dumped me for daring to stand up to her."

* * *

><p><em>Emily was breathing more heavily now, and could feel her heart racing. She glared at Alison, unable to process what she had just heard.<em>

_"You… you used us?" Emily asked incredulously. She was holding herself back now, trying to remain calm, trying to remember what Alison had been through._

_"Listen, Em, my life was on the line and this was the only way to get A once and for all," Alison insisted._

_"We could have been killed," Emily exclaimed. As she said the words she felt herself getting light headed, and less and less able to keep herself in control._

_"You were never in any danger," Alison countered. "We were watching you the whole time."_

_"We were your bait!" Emily responded, almost shouting now._

_"I would have saved you if I'd needed to," Alison declared. "I've done it before, haven't I?"_

_Emily fell back a little and braced herself against the table._

_"And what if it didn't work this time?" she asked._

_"It did work," Alison reminded her. "And we caught A. What is your problem?"_

_"My problem?" Emily responded, no longer able to hold back now. "My problem? My problem is finding out we were the pawns in your plans. My problem is that you couldn't even trust me…"_

_"When I did trust you you just went and blabbed anyway," Alison interrupted._

_"I thought we were in this together," Emily said. _

_"We were," Alison replied. "Stop making a big deal about it."_

_"You're still her, aren't you?" Emily said. "You're still the girl in charge, still the one to decide what's best for us, what we need, who we should be. And we're still just the bit players in your grand drama."_

_"Em, do you want to be with me or not?" Alison asked. "Because I've given up a lot for you, and if this is what I'm going to get then maybe I should find someone a bit more appreciative."_

_"I thought I knew you," Emily said, calmly now. As suddenly as her anger had come, it subsided, and somehow she knew. Being angry at Alison for this was as futile as being angry at the waves for coming into the shore. "I'm sorry I was wrong."_

* * *

><p>"So you did rebuke her then?" Lakhsmi asked. "That is excellent."<p>

"She had used us all," Emily explained. "She had put us in danger so she could be safe."

"It is a shame it had gone that far," Lakhsmi said. "But it is still commendable that you stood your ground. You faced up to this girl, Emily. That is something to be proud of. She broke off the relationship because she realized you would not be her lap dog anymore. That is just as much of an achievement as if you had broken it off yourself."

Emily shook her head.

"The thing is, had she asked I probably would have said yes," Emily said. "I would have done anything for her. It was more that she put the other girls in danger that finally woke me up. I wouldn't listen to anyone, but when I saw how… reckless she had been I felt sick at the thought of what could have happened to them."

"You are a caring and protective person," Lakhsmi responded. "And maybe just a little bit proud. That is nothing to be ashamed of. If you had let her mistreat others while you were still safe, _then_ you would have reason for self-reproachment. But I already know you well enough to know you would not do that."

"I did before she disappeared," Emily pointed out.

"You were young then," Lakhsmi responded.

"I was old enough to know better," Emily insisted.

"I know more than one developmental psychology professor who would beg to differ," Lakhsmi countered. "It sounds to me like you are still yet to forgive yourself for actions which happened many years ago when you were under her spell."

"Don't you see," Emily countered. "I let myself fall under that spell again. Even when I knew what she had done to people I still let myself get tricked by her. Even after Paige, I still went ahead and became Alison's lackey again."

"Paige was your other girlfriend, wasn't she?" Lakhsmi asked. "How does she relate to these events?"

"Paige was one of Alison's victims," Emily answered. "Before Alison went into hiding she had bullied Paige, relentlessly. She had… Paige only just held on."

Lakhsmi was frowning now, her eyes focused on Emily.

"I know," Emily said. "It was terrible of me to…"

"No, no, no," Lakhsmi interrupted. "Please do not take my countenance as some sort of chastisement. It is simply a sad story."

"OK then," Emily continued. "Paige and I had broken up well before my relationship with Alison, but we had broken up because of Alison. When Paige found out Alison was still alive she panicked, and acted rashly, but I was completely insensitive. I had just imagined that Paige would be over it. It was like I'd forgotten how bad it was, what she went through."

"We can never fully understand what someone else has been through," Lakhsmi said. "And you are a very forgiving person."

"Still, I left Paige because of Alison," Emily said. "And afterwards I went to Alison. I dated the girl who almost destroyed Paige. I betrayed her."

"So you feel guilty," Lakhsmi suggested.

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "I do. I should. I knew how badly Alison had treated Paige, but I left Paige because she was still angry at Alison, then went ahead and dated Alison."

"What should you have done?" Lakhsmi asked.

"I should have listened to Paige when she said Alison was manipulating us," Emily replied. "I should have not been drawn in by Alison's lies. I should have known."

"How would you have done that?" Lakhsmi asked.

"I…" Emily began, but paused as she struggled to answer. "I don't know, but Paige was right. I should have trusted her."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Lakhsmi asked. Emily nodded and she continued. "You are a caring, trusting person and you believed you needed to protect Alison because she was in danger. You could no more have walked away from Alison at that moment than Paige could have accepted you helping her. We all have moments in our lives which we wish we had done differently, but if we are being honest with ourselves we know we could only have done what we did."

"So, that's it?" Emily responded. "I was always going to lose Paige, because I couldn't see through Alison's lies? There was nothing I could do?"

"Then, no," Lakhsmi replied. "Now is the only moment you have control over. I'm sorry if I'm getting too philosophical here, but…"

Emily felt herself starting to cry. She had no idea why it was now, but suddenly she was overcome with sadness.

"I am sorry," Lakhsmi said. "I am possibly being too blunt. People tell me that I do that sometimes."

"I left the girl who really loved me for one who never did," Emily explained through her tears. "How am I supposed to get over that?"

Lakhsmi somewhat awkwardly put her arm around Emily, but kept her distance otherwise.

"Paige and I could have been happy together," Emily continued. "I loved her, but I pushed her away."

"Do you still love her?" Lakhsmi asked.

Emily tried to reply but became too choked up. She was sobbing now, her body convulsing as she did.

It was true. Emily still loved Paige. She always would, but Paige was gone now, and Emily knew Paige would never want her back.

It was too late, too late to do anything.

Emily had lost her chance at happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

_Paige attends her grandmother's funeral before returning to Stanford. With some help from Hanna, Emily gets in touch with Paige._

**A/N:** :')

* * *

><p>Paige had spent so much time with her grandmother, yet she was still learning things about her life now, listen to the eulogy at her funeral. It was hard to imagine what life was like when her grandmother had been young, but hearing about her life helped Paige understand the woman she had known.<p>

Her father, Paige's great grandfather, had died early in an industrial accident. This was just after the war, and for the family to get by the older children had to be taken out of school, the eldest son to work, ending up in the very same factory his father had been killed in, and the eldest daughter to look after the house and the younger children, while her mother made what she could house cleaning and working at a local store.

Paige's grandmother had married late and only had one child, Paige's mother Helen, after nearly dying due to complications in childbirth. Paige always knew her as a very serious woman, stoic about life but fiercely protective of all her family, especially the children. She was hard working and resourceful, and Paige had fond memories of learning everything from mending clothes to preserving fruit from her, at the time never really understanding how her grandmother had come to have all these skills. As a child she had never really understood the lives her parents and grandparents had lived before her, but then she guessed that no one really did.

Paige looked across the church to where the coffin lay. It was beautiful, and her grandmother probably would have seen it as excessive, but Paige's mother had wanted to give her one last extravagance, since she had denied herself luxuries all her life. It seemed strange to Paige that her grandmother was lying there inside that wooden box. It wasn't really her anymore, though.

Paige was glad she had been able to thank her grandmother before she had gone, even though she knew that her words had not been heard. She was grateful though, grateful for everything. Paige's dad hadn't always been the best father, and through the worst of it her mother and grandmother had looked after her, and made sure she was OK. When Paige was little her grandparents' house was a haven. Paige would be told at length about how she should dress better, be more careful, and not run around the house, but Paige knew she would always be loved there. And when Paige had come out her grandmother had simply said "Oh, that's what it is", then asked her if she wanted some soda, or maybe a piece of cake. Her grandmother loved feeding people.

* * *

><p>It took a few days for Emily to regain her composure, during which time she hardly spoke with anyone. But classes were starting again, and she needed to face the world. She had one thing to do first, however.<p>

She knocked on Lakshmi's door.

Lakhsmi looked surprised as she opened the door.

"Emily, I am so pleased to see you," Lakhsmi said. "I was worried, but I knew I needed to give you some space. I have to confess it was quite difficult though. Have you called Paige yet? I am sorry, please come inside."

Emily went in and they sat down together.

"I'm OK," Emily assured her. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, maybe more than I should, but I just had to process it all."

"Have you called her?" Lakhsmi asked.

"Not yet, but I will," Emily replied. "I'm going to call Hanna first, let the others know what's going on."

"Emily, I am getting nervous for you," Lakhsmi said. "If you put this off too long she might meet someone else. Right now, as we speak, they could be going on their first date."

"I need to be ready," Emily explained. "It's been quite a turnaround and I have to get used to it."

"Very well," Lakhsmi responded, though she was clearly not happy with Emily's delay.

"I just wanted to thank you again," Emily said. "I don't know what it must have been like for you to sit through all of that, and I'm just sorry I didn't work my feelings out sooner."

"If you had done so we would never have kissed," Lakhsmi pointed out, "and however uncomfortable things may have been, I am finding it hard to wish that had never happened."

Emily smiled. Lakhsmi was an extraordinary woman.

"It wasn't all frustrating for you?" Emily asked.

"No," Lakhsmi replied. "It most certainly wasn't, and the fact that you are still in love with this other woman is actually reassuring. There is a simple answer to why things didn't work out between us."

"I just wish I could make it up to you," Emily said.

"You can," Lakhsmi said. "_Call her_."

* * *

><p>Paige had never expected she would think of Stanford as home, and especially not in her first year, but here she was, and it was a relief to be back.<p>

She had arrived the previous day, and had arranged to see Aisha to tell her what had happened.

They met up in the park across from the dorm, and Aisha gave Paige a big hug as soon as she saw her.

"I'm sorry about your nan," Aisha said.

"Thank you," Paige said, as they sat down on the bench.

"How you doing?" Aisha asked.

"A bit sad of course," Paige replied. "I'll miss her, but… at least she went peacefully. It was her time."

"How was the service?" Aisha asked.

"Lovely," Paige replied. "It was nice. I don't know, that's probably not the right word, but everyone was there. Everyone loved her. I saw relatives I haven't seen in years."

"Did you say anything?" Aisha asked.

"Yeah," Paige replied. "I can't remember much of it though. I was crying too much."

Aisha took Paige's hand.

"She'll be looking out for you, you know that don't you?" she said.

"Yeah," Paige agreed. Paige was never really sure about these things but right now the thought was comforting.

"So how was the rest of you stay?" Aisha asked.

"Good, good," Paige replied. "I caught up with a lot of people, Caitlin's getting into her art, heard all about how Chels is doing, and Brian, had an afternoon gaming with Caleb…"

"And?" Aisha prompted her.

"It was great to see the others again," Paige said. "They apologized, which they really didn't need to do, but it was nice. I'm going to try to get in touch with Emily, but she's with someone else now. Still, it will be nice to reconnect, not leave things how they were."

"Well that's good to hear, I guess," Aisha said. "I'm sorry things didn't work out with the two of you. Now, remember how you made a promise?"

"I did," Paige acknowledged.

"OK, so what about Kelly?" Aisha suggested.

"No one on the team," Paige responded.

"Why not?" Aisha asked.

Paige just looked at her.

"OK, but you're narrowing your chances," Aisha pointed out. "Lien?"

"She's nice, I suppose," Paige replied.

"Maria?" Aisha suggested.

"Maybe," Paige responded.

"Alice?" Aisha said.

"I don't know," Paige protested. "I really haven't been thinking about it."

"That's OK, I have," Aisha replied.

"I'm just not… feeling anything," Paige explained. "I can't just decide to be interested in someone."

"It'll happen, but you've got to put yourself out there," Aisha insisted. "Sometimes I think you don't know how much you've got going for you. Trust me, you just need the right girl and you'll find out."

* * *

><p>"Emily, how are you?"<p>

Emily loved hearing Hanna's voice again.

"I'm OK, but I've had a pretty emotional couple of weeks," Emily said.

"What's happened?" Hanna asked.

"I broke up with Lakhsmi," Emily explained. "It wasn't…"

"You broke up?" Hanna interrupted. "Em, you have to call Paige."

"That was what Lakhsmi…" Emily began, then remembered she hadn't told Hanna about any of this. "Wait, why are _you_ telling me I have to call Paige?"

"Because she thinks you're with someone," Hanna replied. "She'll go back to Stanford and get a new girlfriend."

"How does she know this?" Emily asked.

"Because we told her," Hanna answered. "We were talking to her, and Spencer had to admit she was wrong, and Paige thought you hated her and we told her you didn't but you were seeing someone and you could tell she was really bummed out."

"When were you talking to her?" Emily asked. "Why didn't you tell me about this? And why was only Spencer wrong?"

"Paige was in town during her break," Hanna elaborated. "We caught up with her to say we were sorry, but we thought we'd better leave you out because, I mean, awkward. But Em, she's not mad at all. She misses you. You need to talk to her."

* * *

><p>Paige checked her phone as she always did when she got out of swim practice.<p>

One missed call.

From Emily.

Her heart was racing as she checked her messages. It had been so long since she had heard Emily's voice.

"Hey Paige, I'm… ah… I heard you talked to the others when you were in town and, um, that's great. Ah, I wanted to catch up with you, if that's OK. I hope you don't mind. I really want to talk to you again. Oh, I, ah, I'm not sure, I'm going out this evening, just with friends, I…"

The message was cut off.

Emily's voice was so hesitant, so nervous. She must have been so anxious reaching out to Paige. Paige wanted to reassure her.

Paige dialed back immediately, but the call went straight through to voicemail.

"Hey Em, it's great to hear from you. I just got out of swim practice, and got your message. You've probably gone out, so I hope you're having a good time. I'll try again later, or you can call me if you like. Thanks for calling. It means a lot."

Paige was slightly stunned. It had happened so quickly. They still hadn't spoken yet, but now, at least, it was possible.

* * *

><p>Emily was having dinner with a group of her college friends, but she had been distracted all night. She was barely able to follow conversations, always thinking of Paige. It had been nerve-wracking calling her, and having to leave a message made it worse.<p>

The people she was with were nice, but they weren't close friends, and none of them knew what was happening in her life.

"Em, you're looking a thousand miles away," the girl next to her said.

"Yes," Emily replied, barely registering what had been said. "I need to go check something."

She stood and went outside to check her phone. There was a message. As she listened and heard Paige's voice, relief flowed through her. She was still standing on the pavement outside the restaurant when she called back. This time there was an answer.

"Hi Paige," Emily said nervously.

"Em! Wow, it is so good to hear from you," Paige's voice boomed over the phone. The feeling of relief Emily had felt listening to her message just a few minutes earlier grew stronger.

"I'm so glad you're there," Emily said. "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch. I'm just so glad…"

Emily began crying. She realized it was a mistake to make this call in public, but it was too late now. She search for somewhere more private, but all she could find was the doorway of a closed store.

"Hey, that's OK," Paige responded. "You needed to be ready. I understand."

"Hanna told me you spoke with the others when you were in Rosewood," Emily said.

"Yeah, they were really nice," Paige replied. "It was great to see them again."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Emily added. "I didn't know it was going to happen."

"That's fine," Paige said. "It was probably for the best."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "How was the rest of your time?"

"A lot of it was good," Paige replied. "I caught up with everyone, but, um, you remember my Granma, who lived just outside of Rosewood?"

"Yes, what happened?" Emily asked.

"She passed away, just before I was about to leave," Paige explained.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Emily said.

"It was sad, but… it was her time," Paige said. "I'm just glad I got a chance to say goodbye."

There was silence for a moment. Emily didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell Paige she was sorry, that she should never have let her go, that she still loved her. She wanted to, but she knew this wasn't the time.

"It's…" Paige began, before pausing. "I miss her, but that's OK. And the rest of my time back in Rosewood was good, better than I had expected."

"That's good," Emily said, still struggling with what to say.

"Yeah, and it was really nice of Hanna, Spencer and Aria to invite me over," Paige added. "I appreciated that."

"Great," Emily said.

This was it, she had to say something.

"I…" Emily began. "It's hard to say this Paige, but I am so sorry for how I treated you. I know I can't take it back, but I wish I could. More than anything."

"You did what you thought was right," Paige replied. "I'm sorry I broke your trust."

"You did the right thing," Emily protested.

"But I did it in the wrong way," Paige countered.

"I should never have put you in that position," Emily insisted. "I'm ashamed of what I did, Paige. There's no other way of saying it."

"Emily, please, no," Paige responded. "You don't have to say that."

"I am though," Emily replied. "I've come to terms with it, but I'm still ashamed."

"Em, is there anything I can say to make you fell better?" Paige asked.

"Just that you forgive me," Emily replied.

"Of course I do," Paige said. "Absolutely, no question. I never held this against you, Em. I just thought… you didn't… I thought you were still angry at me."

"For a while I was," Emily confirmed. "But it's been a long time now. I miss you. I don't know what that means, but I do."

"I miss you to," Paige said. "Now, I understand you're seeing someone at the moment, so I don't want to make things difficult for you…"

"We broke up," Emily interrupted.

"You broke up?" Paige asked.

"Yeah," Emily confirmed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Paige said.

Emily smiled a little, but it was too early to tell the full story. She became aware of her surroundings again, though. People were walking past, and this was too personal for a public conversation.

"Paige, I'm really sorry, but I have to go now," Emily said. "I'm actually outside a restaurant. I was just having dinner with some college friends."

"Of course, of course," Paige said. "Thank you so much for calling. It was wonderful hearing from you again. We should keep in touch."

"Definitely," agreed Emily. "And thank you for being so understanding. You don't know how much this means to me."

"I could guess," Paige said. "Because it means a lot to me too. We'll talk again soon."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Soon."

Just as she ended the call Robin, one of the group she had been with, came out to check on her.

"Emily, are you OK?" she asked, seeing the tears still on Emily's face.

"I am, I'm good," Emily replied. "I'll just need a moment."

"Of course," Robin said. "Take your time."

* * *

><p>Two days later Paige got a call from her mother. They had received a sympathy card from Pam and Wayne Fields.<p>

She had barely hung up when she got a call from Hanna.

"Hey Paige, I heard you got a call from Em," Hanna began, never one to wait.

"Yeah, it was really nice," Paige said.

"Are you going to get back together?" Hanna asked.

"Um, it's still early," Paige replied. "We'll have to see how things go. She may not want…"

"You want to, though," Hanna interrupted.

"I don't know," Paige protested. "How do you…"

"You didn't say 'no'," Hanna explained.

Paige couldn't argue with that, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. She could ask Hanna not to tell Emily, but what would be the point?

"Was there anything you wanted, apart from asking personal questions?" Paige asked.

"Are you doing anything the weekend after next?" Hanna asked.

"No," Paige replied.

"Well, we're coming over," Hanna said. "Caleb's got a job interview over your way on the Monday, so we thought we might fly in to San Jose on the Saturday and see you."

"Of course, that would be great," Paige responded. "But… he's got an interview over here?"

"Yeah," Hanna confirmed. "Something with computers."

"Wow, that's great, but what will you do if he gets it?" Paige asked.

'We'll have to see," Hanna replied. "Can you pick us up from the airport? I'll text you the flight details."

"Sure, of course," Paige said.

"Great, see you then," Hanna said.

"See you then," Paige agreed.

* * *

><p>Paige liked airports. They always had a sense of occasion. She liked watching the people around her, whether they were setting off, looking forward to wherever it was they were going, or arriving home to hugs and kisses from loved ones.<p>

She was at the airport gate now, waiting for Hanna and Caleb to arrive. The plane had landed, but the passengers had yet to emerge.

She was excited to see them again. It had been so long since she had lost contact with them, and now she was seeing them twice in a matter of weeks. She was also intrigued about the job interview Caleb had. Were they going to become neighbors? And what would Hanna do?

Paige and Emily had once faced the prospect of a long distance relationship. That had seemed so bleak at the time, but now Paige would be more than happy to try it. She had to stop getting ahead of herself, though. She and Emily were talking again, and they had had another conversation just the other day, catching up on everything that had happened in each other's lives. But they would still have a lot to get through even if they were in the same town, let alone on opposite sides of the country.

Stanford had once seemed alluring because of its distance from Rosewood, now that was another hurdle to overcome.

For now, though, Paige was happy to be seeing her old friends again. Hanna's call had been a pleasant surprise, and Paige had to admit that the prospect of seeing the two of them made life seem a little bit more normal.

The passengers started to appear. A few business people in suits, a couple of families, then a steady stream of people. This continued for a few minutes, until she spotted a hand waving at her.

There they were, Caleb and Hanna… and Emily.

Paige couldn't believe it. It was her. This had to be Hanna's idea.

They were walking over towards her, Emily a little tentatively. Paige became aware that she was holding herself up against the wall, her mouth hanging open in shock.

It was her. Emily had come all the way across the country to see her.

As they approached, Paige rushed forward and threw her arms around Emily.

"Oh my God, oh my God," she heard herself saying.


	6. Chapter 6

_Emily and Paige spend the weekend together at Stanford._

**A/N:** At this point I have to confess that this story was my way of coping with 4x23. Anyway, the long awaited reunion...

* * *

><p>"Oh my God, Em, it's you," Paige said as she hugged Emily.<p>

Emily was quiet, but was hugging Paige back, her hands gripping at Paige's shoulders. For some time they just held each other, tightly and ardently.

Eventually Paige pulled back a little so she could look at Emily, but without letting go, their hands holding each other's forearms. Emily was crying.

"Hey, Em, it's OK," Paige whispered.

Emily just nodded.

"Thank you so much for coming, it's like… wow," Paige added.

"You don't mind?" Emily asked.

"Oh, Em, this is wonderful," Paige replied. "I'm so happy to see you again."

"You definitely look like you are," Emily said, quietly, but smiling now. Paige tried to think back to when she had last seen that smile. However long it was, it was too long.

"I guess I kind of gave it away," Paige admitted.

"To be honest I wasn't sure you would be," Emily said. "So thank you."

Paige looked at Emily for a moment longer before turning to Hanna and Caleb. Caleb was smiling, but Hanna was beaming, clearly proud of herself.

"Em spent the whole flight asking us if we thought you'd want to see her," Hanna said. "We almost had to drag her off the plane so she didn't go straight back to Philly."

"Hanna!" Emily exclaimed.

"Hey, I put this together, so I get to say what I like," Hanna protested.

"So was this all a setup?" Paige asked.

"I really do have an interview on Monday, then we're going to see my mom," Caleb explained. "But Hanna saw an opportunity."

"And this way I got to see the big reunion," Hanna explained. "That was a pretty special moment."

"I had no idea," Paige said.

"That was the plan," Hanna replied.

Paige wanted to hug Hanna and Caleb as well, but couldn't bring herself to let go of Emily, so she held on to Emily with one hand and hugged Hanna then Caleb with the other.

"Now, you two have some catching up to do," Hanna said. "So we'd better go to our hotel."

"Sure, I can give you a lift," Paige offered.

"We've got a hire car booked," Caleb replied.

"We only got you out here so we could see the reunion," Hanna added.

"You don't need anything?" Paige asked.

"No!" insisted Hanna. "You two go and get reacquainted."

* * *

><p>Paige led Emily into the dorm room.<p>

It was compact, with a single bed, an armchair and a desk. On the desk was a laptop, buried underneath a pile of paper. Paige had a couple of her old posters from home on the walls, and her skateboard in the corner.

"This is it," she said. "Small, but comfy."

"Yeah," Emily responded. "Like the one on the computer."

"Yeah," Paige agreed.

Emily had expected to feel melancholy coming here, like the room would be a reminder of what they could have had, but it was nothing like that. The little things Paige had brought from Rosewood made the room her own. It reminded Emily of Paige, and she couldn't be sad about that.

They put Emily's small suitcase and bag in the corner, then both sat down. Paige on the foot of the bed and Emily on the chair at the desk.

"Paige, I made a terrible mistake," Emily began. "I thought I needed…"

Emily hesitated. She wasn't sure how Paige would take it, or whether she should even mention Alison.

"You thought you needed to be with Alison?" Paige suggested.

Emily nodded.

"I was so stupid," she muttered.

"No you weren't, Em," Paige protested.

"That's nice of you, but I was," Emily insisted. "She used me, just like you said she would."

"I'm sorry," Paige said.

"You don't have to apologize for being right," Emily replied.

"No, I mean, I'm sorry you went through all that," Paige clarified.

Emily just smiled. That was Paige, feeling bad at the situation Emily had put herself in by leaving her.

Emily still sometimes thought of what it must have been like for Paige, driving across the country alone where she had pictured a romantic journey together. She felt awful at what she had done to Paige, but she could see that Paige felt no bitterness.

"If I could wave a magic wand and live in a world where I never left you, I would, in a heartbeat," Emily said. "But everything that's happened, and everything I've learned from it, is part of me now. I just want to make things better."

The room was silent for a moment.

Emily was nervous. She was sweating a little, and there were butterflies in her stomach, but every moment she spent with Paige made her feel more confident. She was feeling good about herself in a way she hadn't for so long. She wanted to say this, to open herself up to Paige.

"Paige, I still love you," Emily said. "I know I pushed you away, and I will always regret that, but I never stopped loving you. I thought I'd lost you, but you've been so generous, so forgiving, that you've given me hope."

Emily took a deep breath before continuing. Paige was smiling, looking at her with warmth and compassion. Emily's heart was racing and her eyes were welling up, but it felt so right.

"Paige, will you take me back?" Emily asked.

"Of course," Paige replied. "I love you too, Em. That hasn't changed."

"If you want to take things slowly, I'll understand," Emily added.

"Not really," Paige replied.

"Thank God," Emily said, stepping up out of her chair, grabbing Paige's face with both hands and kissing her, forcefully.

As she did she over-balanced and they fell back onto the bed, laughing a little, but still kissing. Emily pulled Paige in closer, pressing their bodies together. It felt right, like no time had passed. She was kissing the girl she loved again.

* * *

><p>They were still kissing when the fire alarm went off.<p>

"Please evacuate the building," announced a loud, pre-recorded voice between the whoops of the alarm.

Paige and Emily did as they were told. Paige knew the way, along the corridor, down the steps and outside to the grassy area opposite the building. Other students were slowly emerging from the dorm to assemble there as well.

"Was there any mention of a drill?" Emily asked.

"No, but this happens sometimes," Paige replied.

"I can't see smoke or anything," Emily observed.

"Nah, probably just a false alarm," Paige said. "It did kind of interrupt things, though."

Emily put her arms around Paige.

"I'm sure we'll be able to resume soon enough," she said.

Just at that moment Paige noticed Aisha out of the corner of her eye, walking across the lawn.

"Hey, there's one of the girls in the swim team," Paige said to Emily. "We're pretty good friends. I'll introduce you."

Paige waved to Aisha, who had noticed her in any case. As she walked over, Aisha looked at Emily, still arm in arm with Paige, then gave Paige a knowing look.

When she arrived, Paige did the introductions.

"Aisha, this is Emily. She's come over from Rosewood," Paige said. "Em, this is Aisha."

"Wait, this is _the_ Emily?" Aisha responded, somewhat stunned.

"Yeah," Paige conformed. "She's over for the weekend."

"It's lovely to meet you," Aisha said to Emily. "I had no idea you were coming."

"I didn't know either," Paige explained. "I was just expecting to see Hanna and Caleb, but Em was there."

"We decided to surprise her," Emily added.

"That's beautiful," Aisha said. "How long are you staying for?"

"I have to go back tomorrow night," Emily explained. "But, well, we had some things to talk about…"

"And some things are better face to face," Paige added.

"You've come all this way, just for the weekend, to see Paige?" Aisha said. "I'm gonna cry."

As they spoke, Aisha noticed another mutual friend.

"Hey, Claire, come over here!" Aisha called. "It's Emily."

"_Emily_ Emily?" Claire responded.

* * *

><p>The alarm had stopped, there was now sign of any fire, so now Emily and Paige were heading back inside.<p>

"Is that OK?" Paige asked as they walked down the corridor.

"Of course," Emily replied. "Hanna mentioned you'd asked her and Caleb."

Aisha had invited them all out that night to a local club, where her boyfriend Deon was the DJ. Emily was looking forward to it. She was enjoying meeting Paige's friends, and seeing something of her life here at Stanford. It was reassuring that Paige seemed to be doing so well.

"It's just, I know we don't have much time," Paige said.

"If you don't want to go, we can just hang out," Emily replied.

"No, I just didn't know if you were ready to start meeting everyone," Paige clarified.

"It will be nice," Emily said. "It feels like we're a couple again. I like that."

"It does, doesn't it," Paige responded, smiling and taking Emily's hand.

Emily was surprised how easy it was. After all her fears, and all the sadness of the last year, being with Paige again just felt so natural. This was what a relationship was supposed to feel like.

"Anyway, I've already met a couple of your friends," Emily added.

"I'm sorry everyone's making such a fuss," Paige said. "I may have mentioned you to people."

"Don't worry," Emily replied. "You'll get the same reception if you come to see me at Danby. When you come to see me at Danby, I should say."

They arrived back at Paige's room and went inside.

"So, where were we?" Paige asked.

With that, Emily practically tackled her, and they fell on the bed, kissing passionately.

Emily ran her fingers through Paige's hair as they kissed. She'd missed that. She's missed the feel of Paige's body, her smell, the taste of her mouth, the familiar details that excited Emily. They'd only been together again for a few hours, but they had been in love for years, and it felt like forever.

As they lay together, Paige wrapped her leg around Emily. Emily instinctively moved her thigh between Paige's legs. They kissed harder. Paige was starting to grind against Emily's thigh. Emily moved her hand to Paige's ass.

Emily's heart was racing. She was nervous, but so excited. It felt risky, like it was their first time.

Emily pulled away from the kiss for a moment.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Paige replied, breathlessly.

Emily kissed Paige's neck, and rolled over a little so she was on top of Paige. She hurriedly pulled up Paige's skirt.

"Em, I love you," Paige whispered.

Emily hadn't felt this way for so long.

* * *

><p>"Look, Paige is blushing," Hanna proudly announced.<p>

Paige didn't doubt that she was, though Hanna wouldn't really be able to see it, given the sparse light in the room. Hanna was probably just guessing. She knew Paige.

"Is she always like this?" Aisha asked.

"Yeah, pretty much," Paige replied.

"It's true though," Hanna insisted. "I bet they weren't even dressed when we arrived to pick them up. I called Em and I could hear 'Oh shit, oh shit' in the background."

Hanna had enjoyed the car ride over, and now they were inside and had met up with Aisha, Hanna was continuing her quest to embarrass Paige.

"Paige, you should use your alarm," Aisha suggested.

"They weren't sleeping," Hanna explained, "they were…"

"They were fucking, I get it," Aisha interrupted. "It still works. It's easy to lose track of time."

"So how long has Deon been working here?" Emily asked Aisha, changing the subject.

"Only a few months," Aisha replied. "He's been doing parties and stuff for a while, but this is his first regular gig."

"He's good," Emily said.

"Yeah, I think so," Aisha agreed.

The place looked new. It was still early in the evening and it was less then half full, mostly college students. The music was going though, and people were already out dancing.

Paige, Emily, Hanna, Caleb and Aisha were sitting at a table in the corner for now, trying to talk over the music.

"Thank you so much for inviting us," Emily said.

"Hey, I wanted to meet Paige's friends," Aisha replied. "I didn't realize it would be a celebration."

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but it is, isn't it?" Emily responded.

"So are you two officially back together?" Hanna asked.

"We are," Emily confirmed.

"I think that calls for a toast," Caleb suggested. "To Paige and Emily."

Everyone raised their glasses.

"To Paige and Emily."

Paige put her arm around Emily. This morning she didn't know any of this would be happening. She had no idea she would be this happy.

"Guys, I just want to say thank you," she announced. "To Hanna and Caleb for making this happen, to Aisha for helping me through everything and being such a good friend, and of course to Em, for being brave enough to come out here, and for being so special."

She looked into Emily's eyes and saw them welling up with tears.

"Thank you," Emily replied. "For being you."

* * *

><p>They had all been dancing for a while, but Emily noticed that Aisha was keeping an eye on Deon. When things seemed less hectic for him, she took them all up to the the side of the mixing desk. Deon came over. He was tall, strongly built and with a broad smile.<p>

"Hey babe," Aisha said. "These are Paige's friends Caleb, Hanna and Emily."

"Great to meet you all," Deon said, reaching out to shake hands with each of them in turn. "Hope you're having a good time."

"We are," Emily said.

"So you're the Emily we've been hearing all about," Deon said.

"I hope so," Emily replied.

"Go back out there and I'll play a song for you guys," Deon suggested.

Soon they were back on the dance floor, and the song changed. Emily had no idea what it was, but it was slower, with a strong beat. Emily put her arms around Paige as the danced, and spent a moment just looking into her eyes.

* * *

><p>Emily, Hanna and Caleb were still on the dance floor, so Paige had her first chance to talk to Aisha.<p>

"So, what do you think of Emily?" Paige asked.

"She's nice," Aisha replied. "Really lovely. And if you don't mind my saying so, _hot damn_. If it doesn't work out, can you give her my number?"

"I thought you were straight," Paige said.

"I was," replied Aisha.

Paige just smiled and shook her head.

"Seriously though," Aisha said. "You've got an amazing girl there. I can see why you held out."

* * *

><p>Emily and Caleb were taking a break from dancing, sitting back at their table, though Hanna, Paige and Aisha were still out there, going strong. Emily was wondering if she needed to do more endurance training. If Paige kept this up her swim times would be really coming down.<p>

"I bet you're glad you came," Caleb said.

"I don't know how to thank you guys," Emily replied. "I'd hardly believed this was possible."

"No thanks needed," Caleb responded. "You'd do it for us."

"Have you and Hanna thought any more about what you'll do if you get this job?" Emily asked.

"We're thinking that I'll find a place and settle in, then Hanna will come over to join me," Caleb replied. "She can do her fashion course from here just as easily as from Rosewood."

"That will be so exciting," Emily said.

"It will," Caleb agreed. "I'm sorry you won't get to see Hanna as often."

"We'll still keep in touch," Emily replied. "Just like Paige and I."

"I believe it," Caleb said.

"You two and Paige will practically be neighbors," Emily said. "I know you and Paige were good friends. I'm sorry all our shit got in the way."

"I'd say things are going to work out how they're supposed to," Caleb responded. "We just need to find a way to get you over here as well."

"Maybe one day," Emily said. "You know, until I spoke with Paige again I was worried that she was lonely out here by herself. I'm so pleased to see she's made friends, and now she might have you and Hanna nearby. I mean, obviously I'm ecstatic we're back together, but I'm happy for her that she's made a go of it without me too. Does that sound weird?"

"Not at all," Caleb replied. "She's a strong girl, and you're proud of her."

"That's it," Emily agreed. "I'm proud of her. I'll have to tell her that."

Just then Emily recognized a girl coming over towards them. It was Claire, who they had met earlier that day, only this time she was clearly drunk. Happy, and very drunk.

"Hey, Emily and Emily's friend!" she said by way of greeting. "This is so good you're here. I like both of you. You're cool."

"Thank you. You're nice too," Emily replied, not knowing what else to say.

"This is the happiest I've seen Paige in ever," Claire continued. "She is so stoked you're here. It's really great, you know."

"This is the happiest Emily's been for a while too," Caleb chipped in.

"Aw, that's so sweet," Claire responded. "Isn't love just great? I mean, you could be happy because, you know, you got a really nice doughnut at the doughnut shop, but being in love makes you even happier."

"That's true," Emily agreed. It was hard to argue with that.

"Paige wasn't happy for a while," Claire explained. "She was lonely, you know. And, like, she's gay, but I couldn't really help her because I'm not. Like, if she was a guy maybe I could. I thought maybe Kelly could, because she's gay too, but I don't know, you know? But then you came over, and you guys got back together which is so sweet."

"Yeah," said Emily, turning to Caleb in a vain attempt to hide the fact that she was laughing.

"It was a shame because Paige is really nice," Claire continued. "It would be great if nice people were happy all the time, you know. I bet you're nice too."

"She is," Caleb confirmed.

"Yeah, I thought so," Claire agreed enthusiastically. "I mean, it's good when nice people get together, because sometimes someone who's nice gets together with someone who's not nice, and then the nice person is really nice to the not nice person, but the not nice person isn't nice back because they're not nice. You know?"

Emily winced, even as she kept laughing.

"You and Paige should get married, you know," Claire suggested. "That would be so beautiful."

"Yeah," Caleb agreed. "When's the date?"

* * *

><p>Even Paige was getting tired now. She had Emily back out on the dance floor, and as much fun as she was having it was late and she just wanted to be alone with Emily again.<p>

"I wouldn't mind heading off soon," Paige said.

"Me too," Emily agreed. "We'd better find the others."

The club was packed now, so Paige took Emily's hand and followed her through the crowd of moving bodies until they found the others.

Emily spoke with Caleb and Hanna. Paige was barely arm's length away but couldn't hear any of it. After some leaning in and nodding, the four of them headed off.

On the way out they found Aisha.

"We're going now," Paige explained. "We had a great night."

"I'll see you on Monday," Aisha replied. "You're going to have quite a story to tell me."

Paige nodded.

"Thanks again," she said.

"No problem," Aisha said. "I'm so pleased for the two of you."

Aisha gave Paige a hug, then as Paige stepped away Aisha hugged Emily as well. Paige couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could already see a genuine warmth between the two of them. It made her happy.

* * *

><p>The air was cool outside, and everything felt still. It was so much quieter. They walked to the car in silence, Emily arm in arm with Paige.<p>

Emily had enjoyed herself, but now she just wanted to get home.

As soon as the thought had entered her mind, Emily realized what she had done. It was a dorm room, where she would be staying for just one night. But that small, simple room was where Paige was, so to Emily it was home.

* * *

><p>Paige was lying next to Emily, the two of them naked, pressed together in a bed only meant to fit one. It was late morning, but Paige was feeling sleepy now. Emily was awake, but bleary eyed, looking lovingly and contentedly at Paige.<p>

Paige was still coming to terms with what had happened, and what it meant. She and Emily were back together. Something that had seemed impossible until so recently had suddenly become real.

When they had first faced the prospect of a long distance relationship, Paige had been scared. Now she had been apart from Emily, really apart, it didn't seem to matter. She knew it would be lonely at times, but she had no doubt they would make it. How could they not, after making it through all this.

As she pondered all of this, she put her hand on Emily's breast, and absent-mindedly ran the tip of her finger around Emily's nipple.

Emily started giggling.

"Sorry babe, but I'm not sure I've got the energy," Emily said.

"Sorry," Paige said, snatching her hand away.

Emily reached out and took Paige's hand in hers, still chuckling a little.

"It's OK, you just know what that does to me," Emily reminded her.

"Yeah," Paige replied, sheepishly.

"We probably should get something to eat," Emily suggested. "Will they still be serving breakfast?"

"No, but lunch starts soon," Paige replied. "In about half an hour."

"Time to get ready, I suppose," Emily said.

"Yeah," Paige agreed.

Emily gently kissed Paige. Paige closed her eyes, and lost herself in the kiss. Suddenly she didn't care about time, and had nowhere else to be. She opened her mouth and lightly touched her tongue against Emily's lips, and as she did Emily responded in kind, caressing Paige's tongue with her own.

The rest of the day could wait a little longer.

* * *

><p>By the time they got down to lunch much of the food had sold out, but there was vegetable stir-fry which looked good, so they both had some of that.<p>

They sat down at the first table they could find.

"Do you like being here?" Emily asked.

"So much," Paige replied. "It's…"

Paige's voice trailed off. Emily could see Paige looked worried.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked.

"I'm not sure if you're OK," Paige explained. "About not making it to Stanford, I mean. I don't want to be telling you all about my life here if it's hurting you."

"No, not at all," Emily assured her. "I'm happy for you. I'm really glad I came, actually. When you tell me about your life here I'll be able to picture it now. I've seen where you're staying, met some of your friends…"

"We can go for a walk around campus this afternoon if you'd like," Paige suggested.

"That would be lovely," Emily said. "Can I see the pool?"

"Of course," Paige replied, though Emily could hear a hesitancy in her voice.

"Paige, we're going to be living on opposite sides of the country," Emily explained. "I want to be as close to you as I can, share everything with you, and that includes your swimming. I want you to be able to tell me about your training, and when you starting winning races, and I want to see where you swim."

"I understand," Paige said. "We've still got a lot of catching up to do."

"We do," Emily agreed. "So please don't ever feel you can't talk to me about anything."

"OK," Paige said. "The same goes for you, Em. I know you've been through a lot, and I want you to know you can talk to me about that. If you like, of course, it's up to you."

"A lot of what I went though after we broke up was to do with Alison," Emily said. "Are you alright hearing about her?"

"Even Alison," Paige assured her.

"It's going to feel strange telling you about how badly Alison treated me," Emily said.

"I'll understand completely," Paige said.

"That's the problem though," Emily said. "If I'd taken what she did to you more seriously I could have avoided a lot of grief."

"It's not that simple, Em," Paige said.

"I know," Emily replied.

"How is she, by the way?" Paige asked.

"Alison?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," Paige confirmed.

"She's great," Emily replied, shaking her head. "She's in New York now, telling her story to anyone who'll listen. She actually sued to get the rights to Ezra's book."

"Seriously?" Paige exclaimed. "I heard that sold by the truckload."

"Yep," Emily confirmed. "At least someone's making money out of all this."

* * *

><p>It was a sunny afternoon, with a cool breeze. Campus felt different on a Sunday afternoon. There were still people around, but everything was quieter, more relaxed.<p>

Paige had been showing Emily around, but Emily hadn't wanted to see the sights, she had wanted to see anywhere Paige regularly went. The buildings where she had classes, the pool, the gym, where she went for lunch. Paige could see Emily studying each location, etching it into her mind, so the next time they spoke, whenever Paige told a story Emily would be able to see exactly where it had happened.

Now they were sitting on a bench looking out across a lawn. In a couple of hours Paige would have to take Emily back to the airport and she would leave for Rosewood. That wouldn't be the end though, not this time. They might be living their lives thousands of miles apart, but they would still be together.

"Paige, you know I wish I was here with you," Emily said. "If things had turned out differently maybe I would be. This is all a little bittersweet."

"I know," Paige confirmed.

"That doesn't mean I'm not happy for you, though," Emily added. "You deserve this. You've earned it, and I want to see you make the most of it. Everything I've seen these past couple of days tells me you're doing well, and that's what matters the most to me."

"Thanks, Em," Paige replied.

"I'm proud of you, Paige," Emily said. "I'm proud of how strong you are, of what you've achieved, how you got on with your life even after what must have been devastating. You've made a new life for yourself, and now you've let me be part of that. I couldn't imagine a greater gift."

"Spare a bit of pride for yourself there," Paige suggested. "You kept going after almost losing everything. You've been kicked in the guts so many times, but you keep getting up, and when you do you're still the same kind, caring and sweet girl I first fell in love with. Whatever life I have I would always want to share it with you. I love you."

"I love you too, Paige," Emily said. "More than anything."

Emily leaned over and gently kissed Paige. Paige took Emily's hand as they kissed and held on to her for just a little longer.

* * *

><p>Emily didn't have much to pack, but she still liked to fit everything in neatly. Her mother's influence still showed occasionally. Soon everything was ready.<p>

She had one last thing to do before she left. She quickly scanned the room. No, nothing there, as she'd expected.

"Paige, I've got something for you," she said.

"Yeah?" Paige responded, intrigued.

Emily pulled out of her bag the gift, wrapped in tissue paper, and handed it to Paige.

"Thanks, Em," Paige said, as she began to pull the wrapping off.

When Paige had unwrapped it and saw what it was her mouth fell open, but she didn't speak.

"It's the one Aria took of us," Emily explained. "The one she gave me for my birthday. I didn't know if you've have any pictures of us with you, so I made another copy and had it framed for you. I just thought you might like it."

Paige was crying now. She placed the photo by her bed and admired it for a moment, before turning to Emily and hugging her.

"You like it then?" Emily asked.

Paige just hugged her more tightly.

* * *

><p>Paige was back with Emily at the airport terminal, the same one Emily had surprised her at just the day before. This time she was saying goodbye, but only for now.<p>

"We're going to do this," Paige declared, reminding herself and Emily of what they were about to embark on. The long-distance relationship which had once filled her with fear was now the challenge they had set for themselves, and one she was determined to meet.

"We are," Emily agreed.

"I'm nervous," Paige said. "But not scared."

"It will be hard," Emily reminded her.

"Nowhere near as hard as what we've been through," Paige responded.

"You're right," Emily agreed. "We'll make it."

"We always will, Em," Paige added. "Always. No matter what happens, we will always find our way back to each other. I think we just belong together."

"Yeah," Emily agreed, smiling. "We do."

Paige and Emily kissed, but were soon interrupted by the announcement that the flight was about to start boarding.

"I'd better go," Emily said.

"I suppose so," Paige conceded.

"I'll call you when I get back," Emily said.

"Great," Paige replied.

"I love you, Paige," Emily said.

"I love you, Em," Paige responded.

They quickly kissed again, then Emily picked up her bags, shot Paige a quick smile and headed towards the gate.

As Paige watched Emily walk away, part of her wanted to run after her, to go with her or ask her to stay, but it wasn't as hard as she had expected. Emily was leaving, but she would come back. Paige had faced all her worst fears, and had made it through. They had both made it through, together.

As Emily went through the gate she turned to Paige and waved. Paige waved back.

This was a new beginning for them. Emily was right, it would be hard, but Paige knew it would work out. They loved each other too much for it to go any other way.


End file.
